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                                    Faith, Adoption, and Reality                                     


                                  “Attend to the orphans in their distress”-God                               

   “Reality is the best defense”- Sigmund Freud

Our Question:      


 Despite all the best of intentions with regard to the Church Community’s involvement in supporting the practices of adoption, what have we missed and in what manner can we make useful corrections?

1. Appreciating the painful power of shaming

Relinquishment has to do with SEX/unplanned pregnancy

Adoption may have to do with the embarrassment of infertility

e.g., a pillow and Korean grandparents

2. Supporting the positive importance of truth

“Only the truth will set you free”.

3. Noticing and responding to the pull of agencies for profit

As unintended as this may be, still...

4. Attending to the irresolvable grieving of birth parents

Healthy birth moms seldom resolve lifelong sadness

5. Appreciating the unique developmental pathway for adoptees

with regard to grieving/identity/intimacy/fantasy resolution

6. Noticing the lack of advocacy for adoptees’ rights as simply social injustice

Adoptees have the human right to all of their information.

Birthparents have often given up much of their right to know…

7. Colluding with adoptive parents as this relates to struggles with infertility

“Adoption is not a solution to infertility.”

8. Attending carefully to respecting birth parents with regard to sin

“Guilt is always in need of forgiveness.”

9. Not saying that the Bible tells us that “we are all adopted by God”

This wipes away the uniqueness of relinquishment and adoption.

10. Attending to the adoptee’s struggles with a positive view of God

The idea of God as a benevolent deity simply does not match up to the spiritual experience of the faith formation of adoptees.



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